Surviving the Holidays | December Meetup Recap (Part 2)
The first topic of discussion was around trying to keep this season light. To find a way to bring lightness to the season, use our support network to help us, to lean on. What can we do to take care of ourselves during holiday seasons? If we need to break holiday traditions, it's important to be okay with doing so. It's about self-care and setting boundaries.
If something comes up and we are not in a place where we can process or deal with it, can we park it for a while till we feel safe and/or can find support? We can also take the season as a way to create new traditions, to create positive and good memories to replace the bad ones. We get to make that choice. During holidays and during everyday life too.
Our trauma journey is up and down. There is no pushing it and burying it because it will always find a way to come back up. The more we try to get rid of the feeling the bigger it gets. When we force ourselves not to feel it, to hold it in and try to bury it, it gets harder and affects us deeper. Our bodies keep score.
We need to allow ourselves to feel the trauma and the feelings that come with it, so we can release. We need to ask if the feeling or thought that is coming up is true. If we can, find out when this feeling first showed up and we can start to heal there. Ask ourselves what step/action can change the feeling/thought and be okay if we can't come up with an answer in that moment. Healing takes time. We need to be patient with ourselves and remember if we wouldn't say or expect it of a child/our best friend or a loved one then we need to have that same care and compassion for ourselves.
Old behaviors are easy, not healthy but easy. It takes time to change behavior and feelings and thoughts. When the old stuff started it wasn't easy to find a way to heal/change. Well worn paths are easier to walk on but we can make new paths that are better for us in the long run.
We talked a lot about animals, especially horses and buffalo. When buffalo are in storms they get together and huddle, they face the storm and lock their hooves. They stay together and don't run. Animals are community minded (We/You Are Not Alone) Find a way to deal and heal during holidays and especially afterward too. We often manage to get through the holidays and forget to take care of ourselves after they're over.
Find some space, journal, bake, walk, listen to music, honour yourself in whatever way you feel best. Follow the energy of your healing. Make a deal/agreement with yourself to protect yourself. Society often says that it is not okay to be "not okay" but it truly is okay to NOT be okay.
Another animal we talked about were horses, they are very in tuned to humans, they can tell if we are not being honest. They are great healers and can teach us a lot. It is encouraged, if you can, to make it out to the sessions at the ranch with Angie and Amy.
One of our Board members, Sheryl, mentioned two things I want to share. One was the Labyrinth which has no dead ends, is not analytical, everyone is on the same path just in different places, so no comparison from you to me or me to you. We discussed the possibility of bringing hers for a BFF session so we can have direct experience with it.
We talked regarding how empaths and others struggle to be at social events, family or otherwise and how the energy we put out there comes into the room before we even enter. Eighteen feet is our energy bubble and what we think and feel affects everyone around us (this is not to make us feel bad, just to help us be aware).
Sheryl also suggested we imagine that we are a light bulb. We ourselves are the filament and the bulb is our protective shield. The part that plugs in is how where we get our power, but the rays are our energy. They can still go out beyond the bulb casing, but the casing allows us to hold a part of our own feelings and energy. Visualizing the bulb around us can help us feel protected, and we can choose to filter out the energy we want.
A book mentioned that you may want to check out: Why People Don't Heal and How They Can: A Practical Programme for Healing Body, Mind and Spirit by Caroline Myss