You may have heard members of the Breaking Free family reference a "banana", and you are probably wondering... what the heck we are talking about! What started out as a bit of a joke, has turned out to be the best daily reminder for myself when that "not good enough" sign shows up in neon lights. Last year, when we were in Whistler for the Victor Walk Documentary premiere, a few of us were attempting to pose for a selfie, and Shandra said, "I hate myself in photos". It was a very honest statement, and one that I'm sure many people can relate to (myself included). I immediately scolded her (in the nicest way possible), and jokingly said that anytime she said something bad about herself, I'd say "banana" as code to snap out of it. We had a good chuckle about it, but that word has stayed with us to this day.
Trauma teaches us many things about ourselves, and a big one is that we are not good enough. I know for myself, I've struggled with my "not good enough" stuff a lot lately. "Will anyone ever love me? Am I good enough at my job? Does anyone need me?" That yucky track can be like a loop in my head. But when that loop gets going, I stop myself and yell "banana!" Many times, out loud, which can make for some interesting scenes, I'm sure. It is just a small reminder that I am lovable and good enough and valuable. It always does the trick at getting me out of my own head.
I also really appreciate when my BFF family tosses a "banana" at me too. If they catch me saying something negative about myself, someone (usually Dawn or Shandra) is quick to yell "banana!"
I am sharing this story, because we all get that yucky "not good enough" feeling from time to time, and maybe you can get some help from the banana too.