#BF4ME | Awareness vs Avoidance


Well, Week 1 is already done! How did it go for you? This is how it went for me...

The Good

The individual emails and Facebook posts and support are the best part of this whole adventure! People who don't want to share publicly are sharing with me privately, and I received this last night: "Just know that you've helped at least one person by sharing." My whole heart and goal achieved in one sentence! Well...except for that little thing called a 5km run!

I'm counting four out of seven days of sit-ups a win!


The Bad

I'm not good at keeping track of my personal well being, because what I don't give attention to means it's not really real, right? My commitment was to keep track of my eating, and it was quite eye opening! Ugh. I am now very aware of where my habits have fallen apart. I used to eat quite healthy, so to see in writing what my choices are now, actually startled me. My two most prominent choices? Cheese. Tortilla chips. I also did not consume nearly as much water as I thought I did.

The Ugly

Week 1 ended with a brunch event that rattled my emotions in a way I didn't anticipate. Beautiful human beings with hearts of love, sharing their goodness with others. I didn't know most of the people, so I instead of digging in and meeting everyone (my past behaviour), I retreated and watched from the sidelines. Before I got to my Jeep when I left, the tears were pouring down my cheeks. I was a wreck. What was a celebration triggered pain for me. Watching the family, the relationship dynamics, the engagement in the food prep - it was in my face, demonstrating what I don't have.

What many don't know is (and boy is this vulnerable, sharing it all for me), that I so desire to have a partner that enjoys sharing and serving together in a home environment, such as I was in yesterday. It triggered loneliness and reminded me of loss in my life. Rarely do I ever feel this way, but it hit me hard. It was a reminder of that saying,

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

Maybe not every moment of every day, but we all go through our stuff'!

Week 2

I will:

  • Continue to track my food/beverage intake and eliminate bed time eating, except popcorn on Friday night :).

  • Continue sit-ups: 20/day this week.

  • Walk: minimum of three walks, whether outdoor or doing a mall walk if it's too cold. No excuses. I actually had a friend offer to make those our phone call connection times, if it means it will help me get it done.

  • Begin to journal again, daily, free form. All that means is I'll journal my thoughts as they come out, no editing or thinking too much. You in to try it? It could be three minutes or thirty, again it's about actually doing it, not doing it perfectly. A friend gave me The 5-Minute Journal a year or so ago. I started it, but it quickly fell by the wayside. I will explore that as a begin-again possibility.

You can:

  • Join our closed Facebook group to share your good, bad, ugly moments. It's a safe space, not shareable publicly.

  • Track your food. Check out the App Store on your phone if you are a techie-tracker-type. There are free or paid versions, keep it inexpensive if you've never done it before. If you are more of a paper tracker, you can search online for templates that suit your needs. The key? Don't make it difficult for yourself! If you have an empty notebook or journal, use it. I ordered an erasable version that fits in my agenda, because that's what works for me. I'll take a photo of it each week for the benefit of this journey, but I also like that I can wipe away last week and start fresh! I need a finer pen though.

  • Set a small step goal for yourself and let us know you've done it! Solicit someone who can be your go-to for support and encouragement.